Is it really inauspicious if a cat crosses the street?!!
● Is it really inauspicious if a cat crosses the street?!!
>>It is true!! Only if you are a mouse.
>>It is true!! Only if you are a mouse.
● An advertisement read like this:Are you blind?! You can't see anything?! Can't read or write anything?! Then, join the Super school for the Blind today!!
Patient: What are my chances of survival?!
Doctor: Experts say that chances of survival in this operation is 1 out of 10!!, 9 have already died during this operation & you are the 10th one!! So, your chances of survival is 100%!!
Mental Doctor: Since when do you think that you are a dog?
Mental Patient: Since I was a puppy, sir!
Patient's Relatives: Doctor! Is the operation over?!
Doctor: Operation!!?!!?!! I thought that was a post mortem!!
Doctor: We have realized that we have left a scissor in your stomach & hence, you must be operated again!!
Patient: Why do you bother about a silly scissor?! Here, keep this money & buy yourself a new one!!
● The English teacher was testing his students.
Teacher: The questions asked by me shall be answered in English only. O.K. now, all of you must say your names in English on by one. Let's start with you..(pointing at the student in the first bench)
Sooryaprakash: My name is Sunlight!!
Jeevannath: My name is Lifeboy!!
Aakaashdeep: My name is Sky lamp!! ...
● Two astronomers, Jon & Jack at NASA felt like having some alcohol, but couldn't find any. Carried away by their lust to drink, they drank up the rocket fuel itself. Next morning, Jon got a call from Jack, saying, "Did you go to the lavatory(toilet) today morning?!" "No!! why do you ask?!", said Jon. "If you haven't, then don't even try to go!! I am calling from China!!"
● A man pushed his way through a crowded bus, pushed aside a poor fellow who had almost sat on the seat, & said with great pride, "I am the son of a lion!!" The poor fellow who lost the seat had to go standing for a very large distance. The hefty man "lion's son" who was sitting got down at his stop. As he was going away, the fellow who had lost his seat shouted through the window, "Did your mother go to the forest, or did the lion itself come to your house?!!"
Patient: What are my chances of survival?!
Doctor: Experts say that chances of survival in this operation is 1 out of 10!!, 9 have already died during this operation & you are the 10th one!! So, your chances of survival is 100%!!
Mental Doctor: Since when do you think that you are a dog?
Mental Patient: Since I was a puppy, sir!
Patient's Relatives: Doctor! Is the operation over?!
Doctor: Operation!!?!!?!! I thought that was a post mortem!!
Doctor: We have realized that we have left a scissor in your stomach & hence, you must be operated again!!
Patient: Why do you bother about a silly scissor?! Here, keep this money & buy yourself a new one!!
● The English teacher was testing his students.
Teacher: The questions asked by me shall be answered in English only. O.K. now, all of you must say your names in English on by one. Let's start with you..(pointing at the student in the first bench)
Sooryaprakash: My name is Sunlight!!
Jeevannath: My name is Lifeboy!!
Aakaashdeep: My name is Sky lamp!! ...
● Two astronomers, Jon & Jack at NASA felt like having some alcohol, but couldn't find any. Carried away by their lust to drink, they drank up the rocket fuel itself. Next morning, Jon got a call from Jack, saying, "Did you go to the lavatory(toilet) today morning?!" "No!! why do you ask?!", said Jon. "If you haven't, then don't even try to go!! I am calling from China!!"
● A man pushed his way through a crowded bus, pushed aside a poor fellow who had almost sat on the seat, & said with great pride, "I am the son of a lion!!" The poor fellow who lost the seat had to go standing for a very large distance. The hefty man "lion's son" who was sitting got down at his stop. As he was going away, the fellow who had lost his seat shouted through the window, "Did your mother go to the forest, or did the lion itself come to your house?!!"
● Three tourists met at an American bar, and got fully drunk..
Greek: During research excavations, we have found out telegraph lines which indicate that our ancient civilization was so advanced that they had telegrams.
Chinese: Ha!! that is nothing during our excavations, we have found out telephone lines, which means ancient China had telephone and they were much more advanced!!
Indian: That is nothing compared to what we Indians found out after excavations.
Greek & Chinese: Well what did you find out??
Indian: We found out nothing!! Don't laugh. That means that we had satellite communication in ancient India, which makes us the most advanced!!
Grandmother: Why are you making the child cry!! why don't you give it what it wants??
Mother: It's crying because I gave it what it wanted!!
Grandmother: What did it want??
Mother: Chilly powder!!
Image Credits: Nuvola_apps_package_toys.png Image from the Nuvola icon theme for KDE 3.x by David Vignoni Source: http://www.icon-king.com
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